The title of this post is only a half jest… transferring through Heathrow airport, specifically Terminal 5, has got to be one of the most awful experiences in idiocy that I have ever experienced. Only there can you get off a 15 minute shuttle ride, spend 45 minutes navigating your way through confusing corridors filled with poor signage, unsympathetic security folks and miles of shopping only to wind up checking in at your gate and boarding another bus literally 50 feet from the entrance where you were dropped off.

We received this handy pamphlet in Berlin, thank you Germany…

Yes, it does say that you need to allow 2 hours to make your connecting flight and I can tell you that this estimate is no lie. I think that if you need a double sided brochure with illustrations explaining how to get to your connecting flight, maybe you could have done a better job building the darn thing.

Frankly, I am still a little irritated at having been ‘searched’ FIVE times during this trip. Not to mention the complete bag search at the gate in Heathrow and an agent taking my passport hostage when I needed to go to the bathroom. This same bathroom trip also caused my fifth body search/patdown/harassment.

The one highlight was the duty free store… free samples of Level 42 vodka and cane liquor always put me a good mood at 9:30am.